What does INR 1000 mean to you?

What does INR 1,000 mean to you?

To me?

  • A quick dinner for two at a local favourite restaurant..
  • A couple of cups of coffee and a muffin at a coffee shop..
  • A couple of ice-cream sundaes..
  • A glass of wine at a 5 star restaurant..
  • A cab ride from home to airport..
  • A kurta from FabIndia..
  • A t-shirt bought in a mall..
  • A week’s training sessions in The Quad..
  • A marathon registration..
  • A couple of tickets for a movie..
  • A single ticket for a play in a theatre..
  • A couple of Kindle books..

To an underprivileged child?

  • An education for a year..
  • A healthy life..
  • An opportunity to break away from the life of manual labor..
  • A year’s worth of smiles..
  • A promise for a better life..
  • A possibility of a dream come true..
  • A reason to hope..

1,000 Rupees is all it takes to make a difference in a child’s life! On an average, it takes INR 1,000 to fund a child’s education through Vibha for a full academic year. It helps buy them books, provide teachers, build classrooms, bring doctors and provide safe shelters.

I request you to help build a brighter future for one child by donating INR 1,000 (or USD 15) to my fundraising campaign for Vibha.


I pledge to personally donate to Vibha a matching donation of INR 1,000 per donor for the first 100 donors on my campaign, i.e. upto a total of INR 1 Lakh.

Let us make a difference in a child’s life. One child at a time.

May we have the check please?

Why do servers in restaurants always assume that the man will pay the bill/check? When my husband asks for the check, he is handed the check every time. But when I ask for the check, 8 out of 10 times, my husband will be handed the check. About 1 in 10 times, the server will place the check at the center of the table, not wanting to take a call on which one of us will be paying.. that’s better! And I am handed the check a measly 1 out of 10 times.

Recently, my husband and I had a wonderful dinner in a nice 5-star restaurant. At the end of the meal, I asked the server, a woman, for the check. When she came back with the check, she handed it to my husband, as usual. How disappointing!

Usually we let it slide, but not this time. Since I was paying, my husband and I discussed if we should speak to her about handing the check to the person who requested for it. I kept the check wallet on my side of the table, with my credit card in it. When she came back, here was the conversation that ensued–

Me: I am curious to know– why did you hand the check to my husband, when I asked for it?

Server (laughs): Because he is a gentleman…

Me: Do you mean to say that if he does not pay for this meal, he is not a gentleman?

Server (clearly uncomfortable): Umm, no…

My husband: You are a career woman… Why would you think a woman cannot or should not pay for the meal?

Server (addressing my husband): But it is nice if you pay.

My husband: In this day and age, I don’t think it should surprise anyone if the woman chooses to pay.

Me: I wonder when will we progress as a nation? I am surprised that you assume the man should pay for the meal.

Server: Umm..

She then went and got the credit card machine, took my card (from my side of the table), punched in the numbers, and then promptly handed the card machine to my husband to key in the pin!!! My husband and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. The server realized her mistake and then handed the card machine to me, muttering something about women empowerment.

Seriously, though, how deeply these notions have to be ingrained in every society for this to happen even when we explicitly told her that I was paying! While there was nothing intentional, it represents our subconscious biases. Have we coined all these terms–equality at work, equality in pay, equality at home, equality in society–just to pay lip service to the idea of equality? Will we ever actually practice equality in every single walk of life? Is equality just going to remain a pipe dream?

On Cows and Poojas and Apartments

I am back, after a 10-month hiatus. I have been meaning to write some post or the other, but was just too lazy to write. But today, I just had to write; I had no choice on the topic!

About a couple of years back, when we were booking an apartment on the 18th floor of a building in a gated apartment complex, a colleague reflexly and very sincerely asked me (paraphrased)- “But what will you do for the go (cow) pooja? How will you take a cow to your apartment on the 18th floor?” I was totally nonplussed. The question was too funny and weird for me to handle. I just responded that of course we are not doing any of that business!

And then today, this email (from someone on the 10-odd-th floor) lands in my Inbox, on the mailing list of the apartment complex that I stay in (paraphrased)- “We are looking forward to perform our gruhapravesam in XYZ month. As a part of the ritual we need to perform the “Go pooja” (cow pooja). Are we allowed to bring the cow inside the campus?”  This is way too hilarious! I had no clue someone would actually, seriously think of doing something like that!

Google India Women in Engineering Award

The Google India Women in Engineering Award is entering it’s third edition. The goal of the award is to encourage, recognize and reward deserving female students in Computer Science, and to inspire them to contribute to technological advances. Cash prizes of Rs. 100000 will be awarded.

Female students pursuing Bachelors, Masters and PhD degrees in Computer Science in an Indian institution are encouraged to apply. The applications are to be submitted by 31st Oct, 2009. More details can be found at the awards’ site.

This is an excellent opportunity for female students in CS. Please get the word out and encourage eligible candidates to apply.

Surely You’re Joking, My Dear Mom

I can write tons of blogposts about conversations between son-in-law (read: Niket) and mother-in-law (read: my mom). Here’s an unforgettable gem.

MIL: I was reading “Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman!” the other day. Very nice book. Richard Feynman very much reminded me of you.

SIL: (Thinking: Oh dear FSM, this statement is worse than that made by any of my students. How am I supposed to respond to this?) Aloud: Aai, do you realize that you are comparing me to one of the world’s most renowned, Nobel-prize winning physicist, who is an excellent teacher and researcher. There is no way I can live up to that image.

MIL: I meant, his experiences with teaching, research, students etc reminded me of your experiences…

When I heard about this conversation, my first reaction was- exactly why did she think about N? Was it really because of his teaching, research, students etc., or was it because of his (I meant Feynman’s) fondness for topless bars? 😉

This is the typical blind admiration that is usually reserved by parents for their sons or daughters; or these days- for their sons-in-law or daughters-in-law. I can almost imagine the conversation between my mom and some other two MILs.

Random MIL-1: My SIL is so great that he has now become the President of the Friendship Cricket Club.
Random MIL-2: My SIL is so great, so great, that he has now become the President of this big company in the US.
Subject MIL (my mom): My SIL is sooo great, that he will some day win the Nobel prize!

My mom sure has a lot of expectations from my dear husband. FSM help him!

Don’t Be Dismayed At Goodbyes

When I visited the US this time around, I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my friends from grad school had moved to the bay area. It had been three months since he joined, and I had no clue about it. In fact, it was about two years since we had last met, and I had lost touch with him for the most part. We had a few email exchanges in the last few years, and I knew when he had graduated etc. But I am not the kind of person who will keep in touch with people once they/I move on. He does keep in touch with people, but you need to be a single female for him to do that. And I don’t fall in that category 😉

We decided to meet up for dinner. And it was almost as if the two years in between had not passed at all. We did catch up on what happened during that time, but otherwise it was just the same. Our rapport was the same, I was just as comfortable talking to him about a lot of things, and so was he. It was almost as if we picked up the thread from where we had left a couple of years back. I was thrilled.

This is not the first time this has happened. It’s been the case with other friends as well; at least the ones that I am really close to. You tend to form new friends, new ties when you move to a new place, and that leaves lesser and lesser time to maintain the old friendships. Plus phone conversations are not really as informal as meeting up and chatting in person. One of the worries I had, when I moved from the US to India, was that I will lose contact with friends in the US. Thanks to my frequent trips, that has not been the case so far. But I am now sure that even if the trips are not as frequent, and even if I am not really in touch with good friends on a regular basis, when I do happen to meet them, it will be just the same.

I was reminded of a quote by Richard Bach, that I had read a long time back, that seems quite apt (although I don’t subscribe to the “after lifetimes” part, and in fact a lot of his philosophy):

Don’t be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

The Middle Link

Here’s an awesome statement made by my husband’s friend, who is a young, eligible bachelor, not particularly interested in getting married right away, and whose parents tried introducing him to a young eligible girl. He met with her a few times and they both decided things were going nowhere.

His concluding statement to his parents was: “You guys want a daughter-in-law. That girl wants parents-in-law. I am just the middle link in this requirement. Why bother me..”

Now that’s an interesting perspective on arranging a marriage!

It’s a Feature, Not a Bug

This statement was hilarious, considering the context that it was made in. Here’s a snippet of a conversation between me (P), my sister S, and my husband N. S lives in the US and had called us over the weekend.

S: Hey, how are you guys doing.
P: Fine. We are just about done cooking dinner. We’ll eat now. Can I call you later, or actually, maybe over the week.
S: You guys are always busy. You don’t have time to talk to me these days.
N: Weekends are the only time we are together. We are not together over the week, like you and your husband.
S: That’s your (N and P) fault, not mine.
N: That’s a feature, not a bug!

S, N and I just burst out laughing. It was an awesome statement in a completely different context.